


Beyond the destiny

by Tossukka



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 07:35:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/378914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tossukka/pseuds/Tossukka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin meets an old acquaintance and finds out a destiny, like anything else, always has two sides.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond the destiny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MayMarlow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayMarlow/gifts).



> Spoilers till the end of s4. Possible character spoilers for s5? Don’t know, no one really knows yet, right?!
> 
> THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GEN! Neither was it supposed to be this much M/A, though I still firmly believe this is not any slashier than the actual show! I will probably write a sequel with more Merlin/Mordred in the future, because I really loved writing Mordred in this. 
> 
> Happy belated birthday, MayMarlow darling! <3 I really hope you like this, though it's not really slashy.

## Beyond the destiny

When Merlin regained consciousness, he was not in his own bed.

He was not even in the castle.

His hands were tied, though Merlin didn’t see any ropes. Somehow Merlin felt empty and naked; he had a strange feeling he was missing something, but he still had all of his clothes on. Even the neckerchief was where it was supposed to be.

His last memory was of bandits attacking, and the knights fighting against them, and someone saying...

A spell. The bandits had had a sorcerer. So where was Merlin now? Where was Arthur? Where were the knights?

How much time had passed after he had been captured and why hadn’t anyone saved him yet? Merlin tried not to think of the possibility of the knights, Arthur, lying dead somewhere; panicking was the last thing he needed at the moment. He tried to draw calming breaths and tell himself that there was nothing he could do for the others, before he took care of himself.

And suddenly someone said something. The odd thing was that it wasn’t his ears that had caught the voice.

The voice was talking inside his mind.

“Good afternoon, Emrys. It’s been a while.”

Merlin turned his head to see who had spoken and saw an attractive young man who was probably in his teens and was smiling at Merlin. There was something familiar in that boy. If only Merlin could remember...

“Mordred?” he whispered back inside his mind.

“Oh, well done. I guess I haven’t changed that much then, have I?”

“You’ve... grown,” Merlin said. It was stating the obvious, but if Mordred was going to use magic against him then he wanted to put off that moment as long as he could. Mordred had been powerful when they had last met, but it had been years ago, and his powers had probably grown with him. “What happened? Why am I here?”

“I wanted to have a little talk with you, Emrys. To catch up,” Mordred said and suddenly Merlin realised what he was missing. His magic wasn’t pumping though his veins as it usually was when he felt threatened. It was silent and felt... bound, in a way. Suddenly Merlin was terrified. He was nothing, _nothing_ , without his magic! For a moment he even forgot that he was in a room with a young man who knew how to read his thoughts. “Oh, come now, Emrys. Don’t look so scared! It doesn’t look good on you.”

“What happened to the others?”

“Your darling King and his loyal knights? They’re fine. I didn’t see any reason to harm them. They should wake up near the gates of Camelot citadel any moment now.”

“Sleeping spell?”

“Yes. Well guessed again.”

“So why did you want to talk with me? Are you going to use me against... someone?”

“Why ever would I do that? Relax, Emrys. I have no intention of hurting you!” Mordred said but still smiled that unnerving smile. Merlin was sure there was more than the young man told him.

“You did not answer my question.”

“Alright. Why wouldn’t I want to talk with you? You’ve gone far in life since we last met, or so I’ve heard. You’ve grown in power. Well done indeed!”

Merlin flushed.

“I don’t know what rumours you have been listening to, but I’m still just a servant. I haven’t gone anywhere in life.”

“But the most trusted servant in the court of the mighty King Arthur? A servant who gives advice to both the King and the Queen? Most people would think that was something.”

“I’m still just the King’s manservant.”

And wasn’t that painful to admit out loud! Of course Merlin was happy for his friends. Of course he was happy to see Arthur on the throne and Gwen as his Queen and the knights doing their duties as the defenders of Camelot, but Merlin couldn’t help feeling left behind. Bitter about his destiny still being so far away when everyone else was already grasping their own. 

By this time he thought he would have archived something. Being the most powerful sorcerer Albion had ever known was not very useful as long as magic was banned and he was bound to clean Arthur’s boots and clean his armoury. He thought that three years after Uther’s death things would have changed for the better, but they were just the same that they had ever been. With the exception of Arthur being the one who could give the command to execute or banish Merlin if he ever found out about his magic.

“Ah, but of course! Still the greatest warrior in all Albion, the celebrated King of Camelot, doesn’t know that his most trusted advisor and closest friend is a sorcerer? Even after making peace with the Druid folk and apologising for the mistakes he has done in the past King Arthur doesn’t have any idea that the only thing he needs to be the High King of all Albion has been beside him for so many long years.”

The mockery hurt Merlin mostly, because it was true. So far Mordred had not said even one false word.

“Why do you even care that Arthur doesn’t know?”

“I do not. I am just astonished that you trust your King so little.”

“I would trust Arthur with my life!”

“And still you don’t trust him with your secrets? Still you don’t trust him with _his own_ life?”

Merlin flushed.

“What do you mean?” Merlin believed he knew exactly what Mordred meant, but he wouldn’t be the one to admit his own faults.

“I mean that maybe, just maybe, you haven’t let your King know about your talents for the fear that he would send you away. And while it could be painful for you to not be at the King’s side, your biggest fear is that something would happen to him and you would not be there to protect him.”

Merlin had no words to answer.

“Oh, I hit a bit close to the target, didn’t I? It seems you value your King so much more than your own life. You trust him with your life, but not his own and not your feelings. You’re so used to keeping secrets that I doubt the King knows exactly how much you adore and respect him. Maybe even... love him?”

Blood drained from Merlin’s face, but he refused to lower his gaze.

“It’s not important. Arthur doesn’t need to know. I can keep secrets and still protect him,” Merlin said. He had once, long ago, confessed to Lancelot that he’d like Arthur to know about his secret, but there was no way Merlin would let Mordred know about that.

“Your King doesn’t need to know a lot of things. He doesn’t need to know how his father died, he doesn’t need to know why exactly his fiancée betrayed him, he doesn’t need to know how his father’s inability to understand the rules of magic cost him his mother’s life, and he doesn’t need to know how many times you’ve saved his.”

It was not a question, not exactly, so Merlin remained silent. It was true that Arthur didn’t know about any of those things. There would probably be time when Merlin was forced to explain it all, but he didn’t really want to dwell on the thought.

Mordred was still smiling, but now he was also circling around Merlin. Merlin’s ears were pounding with the noises made by his own blood circulation, but Mordred’s voice talking inside his head was still louder. It was as if someone had been screaming the words in his ear.

“It’s my destiny to stand by Arthur’s side!” Merlin finally answered because this was the real point, wasn’t it? Building the kingdom of Albion, making sure that Arthur would become the greatest king world had ever known. “I’m not going to risk it for anything!”

“You want to talk about that? Alright, let’s talk about destinies a bit. You are not wrong. It is yours to stay with the King and his knights. Sword and magic, working side by side for the greater good.”

Merlin was waiting for whatever Mordred would say next.

“What you fail to see, Emrys, is that other people have destinies, too. Morgana already has fulfilled some of her own. She has walked far on her path to greatness. The history will already remember her alongside you and King Arthur, and there is still so much more for her to do. I believe that the Great Dragon has warned you about this, but you have ignored his warnings as usual.”

Kilgharrah did warn Merlin about Morgana; Mordred was right about that, although Merlin couldn’t even begin to imagine how Mordred had gathered his information. Then suddenly Merlin remembered that the dragon had also warned him about...

“Ah, so you do remember what he told about me? I believe you can have an accurate guess on what _my_ destiny is.”

“Arthur?”

There was a sudden shock of fear in Merlin’s chest. He couldn’t breathe for a moment. Merlin’s magic was bound. Whatever Mordred wanted to do, he could make Merlin do it right now. There was nothing Merlin could do to stop it, before it was too late!

“You must understand, Emrys, that I hold no grudges against your King! Definitely for his father, but for him? Oh no, he helped save my life and brought me back to my people. I have nothing against him!”

“People have used me to harm Arthur before. They’ve not yet succeeded! I won’t let anyone hurt him.”

“Oh, but my darling Emrys. You’ve completely misunderstood me. I’m not going to use you to get back to him. I’m going to use him to get back to _you_.”

There was silence. Merlin wasn’t sure he’d heard right.

“You... you can’t touch him! I will stop you!”

“I believe that the opportunity will present itself when the time is right. I have nothing against King Arthur, but I have not forgotten what _you_ did to me and my people! I have not forgiven.”

“This is mad! You’re mad!”

“Am I? Am I really? Am I evil for plotting this and telling you about it? How many times you have hurt people who hurt your King?”

“That’s different!”

“Is it different because you’re one of the good people? Is it different because your intentions are good? We all want the best for ourselves and for the people we care about. Tell me, Emrys, how did your King’s uncle, Agravaine, die? Is it really so different when you kill for revenge?”

“I... It was self defence!”

Merlin knew the lie didn’t hold. He had been angry at Agravaine for betraying Arthur, for lying all that time and poisoning Arthur’s mind, for breaking his heart.

If he was being completely honest to himself, he had wanted Agravaine dead and he had wanted to be the one to kill him. Not even one moment had he regretted his decision.

Mordred laughed.

“And what if it really had been self defence? It would still mean it is alright for you to kill others to help your own people to survive. You and me are not that different, Emrys. We share the same goals. We even share the same methods most of the time. Our destinies were always entwined. You help to make King Arthur the great ruler Albion deserves. I help to bring him down and end the era of his leadership.”

“But why? Why are you doing this?” Merlin said and tried in vain to break the bonds of magic holding him in place.

“I already told you. It’s my destiny. It’s my revenge to you. There is nothing in the world more important to you than your King. To destroy him is to destroy you. You can fight destiny, Emrys, but even you cannot fight it forever.”

Mordred leaned closer and looked into Merlin’s eyes. For the first time he opened his mouth and talked, instead of just whispering things to his mind.

“It could be months, it could be years, but when King Arthur finally falls in the middle of a battlefield, when his sorcerer is occupied fighting the soldiers of the enemy, I want you to hear his final scream of pain and see me above his body. I want you to look into my eyes and know that it has been my revenge to you,” Mordred whispered next to Merlin’s ear. “I want you to live on and know that it was your fault. That the mistakes _you_ did led to his death.”

Merlin was holding his breath and trying not to imagine Arthur’s body on the ground. Broken, shattered, dying. He tried to hold back tears and panic. Mordred was still talking and smiling, making sure every word was clear to Merlin.

“And I want you to live knowing this. Knowing that the day is coming, and there is nothing you can do to stop it from happening. _This_ already is part of my revenge to you, Emrys.”

Before Merlin could come up with anything else to say, Mordred had raised his hand.

“We will meet again, Emrys. I’m sure of that,” he said and then there were words of magic.

\---

When Merlin next woke up, he was in his own bed again and he could feel the magic back in his body. He was so relieved that it took him a while to notice he was not alone in the room and that it would most definitely not be a good idea to try doing magic, because both Arthur and Gaius were looking at him from the door.

“Merlin!” Arthur said. Apparently he had been arguing with Gaius, but as soon as he had noticed Merlin was awake, he had stepped closer to the bed. “What happened?”

“I...” Merlin began. Arthur seemed worried and angry; Merlin was sure just a word from him would be enough for Arthur to send his knights after the person who had dared to touch him. Arthur had always been fierce about protecting the people closest to him, and at that moment Merlin realised how much he truly did care for Arthur.

How much Mordred’s revenge would hurt if it ever became reality.

Merlin had never paid much attention to his destiny past making Arthur a king and bringing magic back, and he was already missing his ignorance. Arthur was still staring at Merlin and waiting for an answer impatiently. Merlin realised he had been staring, too, and lowered his gaze.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

Arthur sighed.

“Of course you don’t. How stupid of me to think that you could’ve actually known something worth knowing.”

“How did you end up back in Camelot?” Merlin asked to change the subject.

“It’s what everyone has been asking. Obviously it was some kind of magic, but since we have no experts to consult...”Arthur said and shrugged. Merlin carefully kept all the emotions off his face. “All the knights are alright, though. I will let Guinevere know that you’re awake. She wants to visit you.”

“Yes, sire.”

“And Merlin? You will have exactly two hours to laze in bed, before I expect you to attend me again. We’ve been through a lot today, but it hasn’t been an excuse to avoid duties for any of us.”

“Yes, Arthur.”

When the King finally left, Gaius closed the door after him and sat on Merlin’s bed.

“Merlin, what happened?” he asked in gentle voice.

Merlin let the tears come.

-fin-

**Author's Note:**

> Not really the end though. These things never end, do they? :P


End file.
